Cocktails 101: The Morning After

Coping with a heavy head

There is no need to go into the gory details of a severe hangover – or even a mild one. We’ve all been there. Historically, the day after St. Patrick’s day, there are quite a few Clevelanders feeling the pain. So avoiding the dreaded hangover, or at least making it pass quickly is the goal, right?  

Through the years, I have heard of many ways to cure a hangover, from the ubiquitous hair of the dog to burying yourself in sand on a beach to “draw the toxins out”.  Neither of these are a particularly good ideas, and doing either would seem a bit odd if you are at Edgewater Park on March 18 (Cancun is a different story). 

Before the big day, do yourself a favor and pick up a few things to aid the healing process. Your body will need a few items to speed the process of recovery, so plan ahead. One of the key physical causes of the massive headache you may experience is dehydration, but it is not the only one. Your body used a lot of essential nutrients to clean up yesterday’s excess that will need to be replenished. 

Let’s start with the St. Patrick’s Day preparation. The goal is not to feel like you encountered two thugs with tire irons the next morning, so preparation is key. The day before, stock up on a few things, such as dairy (milk and eggs), soup, and perhaps some fresh fruit, juice and honey. Make sure to have some vitamin B and C complex to be taken before and after the day of revelry. You should add the phone numbers of various cab services to your cell's contact list. This will help avoid the need for bail.

On St. Patrick’s day, a big breakfast is a must. Keeping some food in your stomach will not – I repeat will NOT – absorb the alcohol you ingest, but it will dilute it to minimize the irritation it can cause to your stomach’s lining. It would be a good idea to eat something, even a small snack, throughout the day. Drink a glass of water for every alcoholic drink you consume, and don't forget that a seasoned drinker will know his limit. Knowing when to cut yourself off is important, so don’t go over your limit, regardless of the football team’s beer drinking challenge, or the kind young lady offering body shots.  All bets are off when you succumb to booze-fueled machismo or skankahol adventures. The day is not a sprint to the finish, so pace yourself. Your body processes alcohol at a constant rate, so let it do its job with as much efficiency as possible. 

Try to stick with clear liquors, as they tend to have less congeners than dark liquors. Congeners are toxic substances created during the fermentation. Avoid bubbles, be it sparkling wine, soda, tonic etc.  Once you get home safe and sound, it wouldn’t hurt to take an Alka-Seltzer if you can. Do not take aspirin, Tylenol or Ibuprofen to help quell the effects of a potential hangover the following day. Doing so can damage your liver if it is taken with substantial amounts of alcohol in your system. However, you may take the aforementioned OTC pain relievers the morning after. If you lie down in bed, and the room starts spinning, be prepared for a lesson learned. 

Even if you are only slightly fuzzy the next day, rehydrate with the fruit juices, soup and take your vitamins. A spoonful or two of honey will stabilize your sugar levels, protein and fruit will recharge your system, take a few aspirin  …and remember that happy hour is not that far away!