Not content to let us wallow in our misery, the world heaped further ignominy on Cleveland earlier this week when we learned that the Cleveland Indians are the most hated team in baseball.

According to WSJ.com, an Internet algorithm developed by Nielsen Co. can analyze how people feel about certain things by using keywords to determine positive, negative or neutral reactions to brands and products. Far be it from me to accuse Nielsen of developing a faulty algorithm, but clearly the most hated team in baseball is the New York Yankees.

Everyone knows this, and it can be easily proven by consulting a few easily available statistics. How many World Series championships have the Yankees won? 400? Eighty some? Okay, it's 27, but still: A lot. Very many. In pursuit of these titles, the Yankees have defeated 10 different teams, so it stands to reason that the fans of those teams must  hate the Yankees. So that right there is a lot of people, way more people than could possibly hate the Indians for winning a measly two world championships. Dodger fans alone (if we count both the Brooklyn and Los Angeles iterations) should really hate the Yankees: the Dodgers have lost the World Series to the Bronx Bombers a whopping eight times.

Nielsen's algorithm starts to look even shakier when you consider Cleveland's losses in the Fall Classic. The Indians have lost three World Series, so it's only logical to assume that fans of the old New York Giants, Atlanta Braves and Florida Marlins (wow...that one still really hurts) should actually love the Cleveland Indians.

Another reason that none of this makes sense is that Nielsen's algorithm rates the Yankees as the fifth most-hated team. This is ludicrous, because the Yankees would never settle for being fifth at anything, particularly if they found themselves with some extra cash prior to the trade deadline. If the Yankees knew they were in fifth place, rest assured they'd be able to make an extremely lucrative offer to anyone who could get them to that coveted "most hated" spot - the Devil, say, or Bernie Madoff. Perhaps they'd even let Lucifer announce his own comeback from the owner's box in Yankee Stadium, during the seventh inning stretch. Just an example I thought of! Not at all based on past events!

In the WSJ article, Ed Carroll of DeepLeftField.com proposed that perhaps the Indians are the most hated team in baseball because the team "does a lot to alienate its fans." On his blog, Carroll points out that his remarks were taken a bit out of context, offering up the trades of Cliff Lee, Victor Martinez and CC Sabathia as evidence of team management's missteps. This particular kind of hate is rooted in love, however, and no one would care about the Indians' more boneheaded trades if it didn't hurt so much to see our favorite players (and perhaps our post-season prospects) ride off into the sunset.

Maybe some people hate the Indians because of the Chief Wahoo logo, which draws protesters and sparks discussion with the opening of each new season. Or maybe they hate them because a large beer costs $7.75 at Progressive Field, though that's hardly unique to the Indians. (Still hate-worthy, though.) Or it could be that decades of frustration simply manifests itself as hate when in fact, it's just envy. Envy of teams that win multiple World Series titles, giving their fans renewable bragging rights.

Teams like the Yankees, who everyone hates. Mathematical fact.

Collaboration requires baked-in leadership, and we’re not just talking about pie. Progress is made when leaders lead where there’s a need, galvanizing others in the process. The folks in the Lake Erie Building at Templar Industrial Park are leaders. They decided collaborating on an open house was the perfect way to usher in spring and showcase the West Side’s inner ring artistry. A local professor continues to lead beyond instruction: his weekend-long poetry exposition offers a soapbox for amazing writing and perspectives, bringing in poets from far and wide. A local dance company’s cutting-edge performances continue to lead in the Midwest – and have drawn in a couple of organizational fans for a new breed of benefit concert. That’s three Fresh Starts just for you. None of them happens in a vacuum.

Jawing In Kent

It’s been a long time since the Classic Cleveland Poetry Slam at the Beachland Ballroom came to an end. Thankfully, there are many events across Northeast Ohio that have filled the gap. Kent State University poetry professor Maj Ragain helms one of the best: the annual Jawbone Poetry Reading and Pie Festival, which celebrates its 25th anniversary this Friday, April 30 and runs through the weekend. The affecting catalyst, as revered as the late Daniel Thompson by some, provides an open poetry forum with featured guests from across the region and the country. The whole weekend ends up being a venerable who’s who for regional poets. Of course, there’s pie, too. Lots of pie. This is a must for anyone with a poetry jones. Learn more at Standing Rock’s website.

Screw You

Take in the Screw Factory Artists Spring Open Studio this coming Saturday, May 1 from 1 to 8 pm, at the edge of Birdtown in Lakewood. Artists Arabella Proffer, Gina DeSantis, Shannon Okey and more than two dozen other local artists open their Lake Erie Building studio doors for a no-cost, open to the public open house. The mediums on display for this auction-exhibit include fiber, photography, painting, sculpture, ceramics, glass and mosaics. Proceeds from the auction will benefit the Friends of Madison Park. Organized in 2007, FOMP is a community group committed to enhancing Lakewood’s Madison Park as a “backyard park” for children and families.

Watching the ‘Wheels

Here’s one that’s sure to end up on many “Best Of” lists at the end of the year: Dancing Wheels Dance Company and School joins forces with two marquee arts organizations for a benefit gala/concert at the State Theatre at Playhouse Square Saturday, May 1 at 7:30 pm. Titled And All That’s Jazz!, it features special musical guests the Cleveland Jazz Orchestra, along with the heavenly Singing Angels and students from the physically-integrated dance company and school. The program features two world premiere dances, including one by Broadway legend Donald McKayle, who will give a pre-performance talk prior to the performance. The gala, featuring hors d’oeuvres, desserts and a silent auction, immediately follows in the theatre’s swanky lobby.

If life were easy, then it wouldn't be very interesting. For better or worse, we get curve balls that regularly test our character. Family matters are particularly trying. 

Knowing that a loved one is going under the knife, no matter how skilled the surgeon, is cause for concern, particularly when the surgery is a dangerous one with a low success rate. When the patient is your mother, it's downright terrifying. Thanks to talented physicians, my mother's surgery went according to plan. The healing process has begun, if ever so slowly. (Anything less than immediate, full recuperation is unacceptable.) Extreme empathy is inevitable, as the mother-son bond is a unique one. The waiting is the hardest part, and family comes first. I enjoy living in a city where people understand that. 

More important, I love living in a city where people haven't a clue that you're struggling, but brighten your day simply by being themselves. 

Somewhat exasperated by a week of unwelcome surprises, Friday night called for carryout Chinese and a movie. For this task, Sun Luck Garden in Cleveland Heights is top choice. 

"Sun Luck Garden!" said a familiar, cheery voice when I called to place my order.

"Hello, I 'd like to place an order for carryout, please." 

"Sure! What would you like on your Klondike bar?" said the excited man on phone. Giggling, the order was placed: two vegetable egg rolls ("two delicious, crispy egg rolls"), two wonton soups ("two lovely wonton soups"). Once he determined that the Green Jewels and chicken dumplings entrées were available, the final details were explained.

"One more thing: we are actually closed tonight for a private event," I was told. At that point, it was further explained that I'd need to pull around behind the restaurant, knock on the rear door leading to the kitchen, and somebody would have my order. The simple act of ordering Chinese takeaway was shaping up to be delightfully strange. 

Thirty minutes later, my girlfriend and I arrived at the rear door of the restaurant, and, as promised, the lovingly eccentric man on the phone, Jeff, was there to meet us. Our food was not ready. We were asked to please wait in the car. 

With that, Jeff came out, beaming and bearing two diminutive quiche Lorraine appetizers, made with Chinese bacon and creamy egg and cheese. Delicious. Minutes after that, he returned with a new plate, topped with two phyllo pastries with a fragrant, sweet chutney-like eggplant filling. He then scuttled off, laughing out loud. We were laughing out loud, too. 

A few moments later, he returned, apologizing for the slight delay, and presented us with two curried butternut squash pastry puffs. Our actual order arrived shortly thereafter. We exchanged a few quips, and went our separate ways. 

Jeff at Sun Luck made ordering Chinese a decidedly interesting, wholly hilarious and fun experience. He reminded us that the world can be a magical place, and sometimes joyous occasion arrives when and where you least expect it. Thanks for the curve ball, Jeff. 

Photograph by Manji Designs

I say! Have you a pair of velvet knickers you aren't able to wear often enough? Do you lament not wearing your monocle on city streets, for fear of being mocked?  Your time has come.

Tomorrow's Fantastic Cleveland Tweed Ride should be a jolly good time for those of you with a bicycle and an affinity for all things old time-y. Brought to you by Spin Bike Shop, the Tweed Ride is the latest in a series of similar events in other US cities and even across the pond. The event is a ride, not a race, though there will be stops for refreshments, challenges and, of course, shenanigans. Prizes will be awarded, including honors for most dapper (male), most snazzy (female), best moustache and "most prized steed." (For a little more information on Tweed Ride culture, visit the home of the San Francisco Tweed Ride, where you'll get an idea of proper attire, jargon and etiquette.)

The event begins Saturday, April 24 at 3 pm at the fountain in Mall A (in downtown Cleveland, behind the library); there is no cost to participate. Huzzah!

Photograph by Adam Thompson.

There's nothing quite like a liberal dose of spirited competition to bring out the best in people. In Cleveland, fans – fair-weather to fervent – stand behind the Cavs as they march to a championship. The city celebrates each win, each dunk, each bucket, with shared enthusiasm. Strangers are suddenly high-fiving friends, and there's a tangible energy pulsing through the region, from West Side to East. We're a proud city. We like winning.

Over the years, the North Coast has had many epithets ("the mistake on the lake") hurled our way, and we've survived more than a few notorious incidents (our burning river). I'm sorry, Joakim Noah, you're neither original, nor clever.

Noah has certainly grown bitter, though. In a league where points and triple-doubles are the stuff that feed fans' fervor, Noah's stats mostly reflect his skill at being a lout. He has been ejected once, received eight technicals and 198 personal fouls this season, 3.1 personal fouls per game. Well done, Noah: Those represent your highest numbers since being drafted in 2007. If you were Michael Jordan circa 1989, we'd be more worried.

Chicago is a wonderful city. It's a bustling Midwest metropolis with loads of curb appeal. It's a lakefront town with a rich history. It's renowned for award-winning restaurants and shopping opportunities. It has a strong cultural presence, with numerous parks and museums. It's pro football, baseball and basketball teams are big draws. Sounds awfully familiar.

Cleveland was already a year old, incorporated in 1836, an industrious city on Lake Erie, by the time Chicago was incorporated as a city in 1837. While Chicago has Grant Achatz, Rick Bayless, Paul Kahan and Charlie Trotter, Cleveland is no slouch in the chef department. Cleveland is home to a nationally lauded restaurant scene, led by the likes of Lolita/Lola/B Spot/Bar Symon chef/owner Michael Symon, L'Albatros/Chinato/Parallax/Table 45 chef/owner Zack Bruell, Melt Bar & Grilled's Matt Fish, The Greenhouse Tavern's Jonathon Sawyer and Momocho/Happy Dog's Eric Williams. The Magnificent Mile is impressive, yet those famed labels and retailers that figure prominently on the strip are hardly unique to Chicago. In Cleveland, you'll find an eclectic collection of locally owned boutiques that sell locally made goods. From Room Service and Salty Not Sweet, to Banyan Tree and Revive, you'll find amazing wares not easily found elsewhere. There's also Brigade, which sells clothes from Cleveland-based, LeBron-approved Wrath Arcane, NEXT and Style Lounge.

Northeast Ohio is blessed with numerous beaches, Lake Erie, and one of the country's finest natural resources, the Emerald Necklace. The Cleveland Orchestra is consistently ranked among the finest ensembles in the world, while the Cleveland Museum of Art is home to a a world-class collection of art. From MOCA to the Sculpture Center, and too many galleries to list, Cleveland is awash in culture. We also have the Browns, the Indians and, of course, the Cavs.

So, what's the lesson here, Noah? It's easy to be defensive without being foul.